Well, it had to come.

A few months ago, I decided to ‘do’ an audiobook. My first thought was that my novel, NORTHMAN, would be an ideal candidate. The thought lasted until the moment I realised that it would take about twenty six hours of recording to accomplish. Oh and a further week to edit.

I’d spoken to an actor and voice-over artist I know and he was strangely unwilling to dedicate the next three months of his life to my novel. It might have had something to do with his fee, which in this instance was to be a few pints of Old Peculiar and a pork pie. Normally, being a greedy pig, he would have snatched my hand off for a pork pie and ale, but he recently appeared in a popular UK soap and his horizons rapidly expanded beyond the delights of mere victuals into the heady atmosphere of actual folding money. Now, the demon of celebrity beckons him and he is lost to the barter system.

Twenty six hours. No VO artist. NORTHMAN sailed away to the far north and was lost.

There was no choice.

Sights lowered, I decided on one of my shorts, written last year. I would have to voice it myself since all the actors I know emigrated, or pretended to be dead or about to enter therapy when I approached them.

So, which one?

BOMBER is quite a dramatic story, but has a number of regional accents – quite difficult for a novice and a non-actor, but maybe one for the future.

THE 500 is better in that it has little dialogue, but it is from a female POV and my dresses are all at the cleaners. Another for the future.

It had to be ISSUE 49. Apart from the fact that I like the story, it’s set mostly in Yorkshire and I know the East Coast resorts of Bridlington, Scarborough and Cleethorpes well, since, as a child, I spent many holidays on their windswept beaches. Finest Haddock and Chips in the world!

So, without further gabble here’s the link to the wonderful Soundcloud. It’s free and lasts about 25 minutes. You can listen now, or download it for my future humiliation 🙂

Disclaimer: This is my first voice-over despite having directed many actors in the past. I would love your comments, even if you think the end result is abysmal, so I know what to do or not do, if there’s a next time. I promise I’ll get a proper VO artist in for the next one, if I can find a good actor willing to trade in pork pies!


About J.D.Hughes

Fiction writer. Supernatural Horror Mystery AND SOON THE SONG. Supernatural Writer of supernatural thrillers, NORTHMAN, AND SOON THE SONG on Amazon and three short stories: BOMBER, ISSUE 49 and THE 500 on Amazon and Smashwords. New novel to be published mid 2018, but on current performance might be posthumously...
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15 Responses to MY FIRST AUDIOBOOK

  1. Awesome J.D.! I can’t wait to get home so I can download it!


  2. Lene says:

    Sight unseen – sound unheard? – I’d like to thank you for this. Because of my RA in shoulders/neck, reading regular books is hard for me, so 95% of my reading is via audiobooks. So: Yay! I can now read your stuff! Also love the idea of you reading it – you may be untrained, but you know the rhythm of the words better than anyone (or so I tell myself, having a vague plan for something similar in the new year). Would love to hear more about how you did it. Will return after I’ve listened to it. Happy Christmas!


  3. Terry Tyler says:

    I want to get this – will have to get Him Indoors to install the flash player thing first. Will be a laugh finding out what you sound like, ha ha!!!! I have a crap voice so could never do this 🙂


  4. Say, ‘laminated’, again! I’m listening… 😀

    Aaaaaaahahahahaa!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    This was so good! You had my attention from the start! I felt sorry for Tobias and then I felt annoyed by his self doubts… then I was laughing about their-I won’t say, and then their-I won’t say, and then-Okay I’ll shut up!

    This was clever and so much fun!!!

    Thanks for sharing!!!

    Oh, you have a fine voice and you did a great job!!!



    • J.D.Hughes says:

      Glad you enjoyed it, Vonda! It’s very English so I wasn’t sure if my American friends would like it or even understand it. Now it’s your turn to narrate yours.

      I hadn’t realised the power of the word, ‘laminated’ 🙂


      • Well, being an American, I can surely tell you that the way you pronounced, ‘laminated’, was so cool!
        This story of yours, translates quite well! I gotta say, the music pauses, by the second pause, I was tapping my fingers and waiting, while knowing something unusual was gonna happen!!! That was such a great idea! Wonderful way to transition and have the listener anticipate each happening!
        This story was very entertaining!!!

        I don’t think I could read my own story. I’d get side-tracked and start making stuff up. :-/

        I had lots of fun listening to this story, J.D.



      • J.D.Hughes says:

        I tried ‘laminated’ on the dog with no effect. He translated it as ‘walk’.

        Great feedback, Vonda, much appreciated, thanks a lot! It could be very intriguing if you were to start making it up as you read, given your current books. A whole new art form 😉


      • That’s cuz you got an intelligent dog. 😀

        I’d be flogged. LOLOLOLOL

        But thanks for the encouragement. I think :-/


      • J.D.Hughes says:

        Flogging might be…er…appropriate 🙂

        Seriously, you might have a go at it – you have nothing to lose and it could work really well.


      • LOLOLOL It would be!!!
        Thank you, J,D. I just might do that. Find some sort of lil tale, a comedy thing, and have me a go. Eventually.
        Honestly, your 49 is terrific! Very inspiring! That music pause, BRILLIANT!!!



  5. J.D.Hughes says:

    Comedy would be great, Vonda! You will gravitate to what you enjoy doing, as we all do. You can post it on Soundcloud and avoid having to record it to the professional studio levels required on Amazon. Having said that, much of the work on Soundcloud is every bit as good as Amazon Audible.

    If you need any info or help, let me know and I’ll do my best 🙂


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