SPECIAL OFFER!! (Aren’t they all?)

So, anyway, I was sitting there, or rather here, and I got an idea for a promotion.Deep_in_thought

Several people had said I needed a celebrity to promote my books. Her Majesty didn’t even reply and the lesser Royals were decidedly sniffy. Richard and Judy laughed out loud. Oprah pretended not to understand my English accent and thought I was stalker. I could have had several soap stars who, for the payment of a suitable fee, would, without even reading them, endorse how terrific my dog thinks my books are (The one with dogs in it is a particular favourite).

It made me realize why soap stars and other celebrities are paid so much. They are telepathic. All of them. And it only requires money to induce this power. But, my £2.73 was apparently not enough, despite a firm promise of a chicken pie and mushy peas plus a year’s subscription to the Derbyshire Times. I find this refusal to trade almost incomprehensible. chicken_pot_pie_cooked_2The mushy peas are worth an endorsement alone and who could refuse a chicken pie that has the exciting prospect of containing genuine chicken, if you get a good one.

So having been turned down by a chap who once played ‘man in bar’ in an episode of ‘Neighbours’ and a lady of the evening who was drinking sherry in the park but had once been an intimate friend of a relative of Sir Larry Olivier before her fondness for sherry put the kibosh on a potentially profitable relationship, I was left with only one alternative.

I decided against selling my organs – which are not in saleable condition anyway -and instead dropped the price.

360px-Jack-o'-Lantern_2003-10-31Halloween, or All Hallows Eve, is on October 31st. Both AND SOON THE SONG  and NORTHMAN have ghosts in them, so I thought why not celebrate a good old Celtic feast since both books contain the odd dead Celt. I know. It’s a tenuous link, but since my disappointment in the lack of a reply from the Queen, I’ve not been thinking straight. Ghosts galore for Halloween, it is!

The Kindle versions of AND SOON THE SONG and NORTHMAN are both only £0.99/$1.49 until Oct 31st!

I know those of you who have not yet read either book will rush out immediately and buy both. It makes sense. Or rather, it makes sense to me. I will forgive those who don’t, but I cannot believe such wonderful, beautiful, charming, intelligent, discerning people of taste like you could refuse an offer like this.

I know that last sentence was a little OTT. I’ve noticed hyperbole has become my bedfellow recently. I put it down to a newly acquired limping ability gained by tearing a calf muscle whilst chasing a strange and madly defecating cat out of my orchard.

At the time I was astonished by how many  words I knew to describe the cat, and bizarrely none of them were related to anything remotely feline.

I’m rambling now, so I’ll get my coat.

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About J.D.Hughes

Fiction writer. Supernatural Horror Mystery AND SOON THE SONG. Supernatural Thriller, NORTHMAN, on Amazon and three short stories: BOMBER, ISSUE 49 and THE 500 on Amazon and Smashwords. New novel to be published mid 2016 (if the ghosts don't interfere!)
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7 Responses to SPECIAL OFFER!! (Aren’t they all?)

  1. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    I had to reblog since it is the finest piece of salesmanship I have read in a long time.. An offer on books by J.D. Hughes until October 31st.

    Like

  2. Katrina says:

    Love it, JD, and you’ve got yourself a sale! Northman isn’t my usual sort of read but I’ll give it a go, if only to say thanks for brightening up my afternoon! Seriously, since communicating with indie authors on various social media I’ve found myself reading children’s adventure stories, romance, cyberpunk and literary fiction and thoroughly enjoyed them all. Supporting fellow indie authors is a great way of ‘paying it forward’ as well as broadening our reading horizons. Will leave a review when I’ve finished but since I have a huge ‘to read’ list, it might be a while 🙂

    Like

    • J.D.Hughes says:

      Thanks a lot, Katrina 🙂 I’d be interested to know how you get on. Like you, since chatting to indies I’ve read stuff way beyond my normal limits and enjoyed most of it. Kind of you to review – I need all the help I can get!

      Like

  3. Reference retrospectively inserted into my most recent post!

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